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Channeling a New Goddess of the Hearth Tame your mess and achieve enlightenment—sort of.
by Ellen Dodge Severson

Years ago, a friend of the male persuasion encouraged me to widen my psycho-emotional horizons by seeking out my Inner Goddess—which, okay, seemed kind of sweet for a couple of minutes.

He Who Shall Remain Nameless urged me to investigate Hestia, the Roman goddess of the hearth. Learning more about Hestia, he said quite earnestly, could help me realize my feminine side and discover the spirituality of cleaning the house.

Honest, I’m not kidding.

After I stopped laughing and rolling on the floor—an efficient way of collecting dust bunnies—I pointed out that there were no gods of housecleaning. Furthermore, he had the kind of career that paid enough to allow him to hire someone of the female persuasion to clean his house, robbing him of the opportunity to commune with Hestia on his own.

Time has marched on since then, tracking mud through more than one room, and I have channeled my own goddess. She’s more Mess-tia than Hestia, and she finds housecleaning … well … amusing. A sample of her wisdom:

Cleaning can be fun, if the music is loud enough If you’re of A Certain Age, you remember the movie The Big Chill. Mostly, you remember the soundtrack, and the scene where the old friends are cooking food and washing dishes while they dance to golden oldies. You can recapture that feeling by turning on your favorite music and—this part is important—drafting everyone responsible for the original chaos to restore the place to something that’s not too embarrassing.

Encourage dual-action cleaning Hand-washing nice sweaters in the bathroom sink cleans both the sweaters and the sink. Enough said.

Never underestimate social fear as a valid motivator If you need motivation to embark upon a bout of housecleaning, there’s nothing like issuing a dinner invitation to acquaintances and relatives who have Recognized Standards of Cleanliness. These are the people who make their beds every day, wash the dishes after each meal, and fold and actually put away their laundry instead of dressing from the clean-laundry basket each morning. You know that these people will not look around at your environs and think, "She’s doing reasonably well, considering." They will think, "She is a slob." (Note that they will not think this about anybody else who lives in your house.) These are the people for whom you will put everything else on hold so you have time to wash the baseboards. Hold on to the vision of how stunned and proud you’ll be when you actually get the place looking pretty spiffy. Of course, you’ll be too pooped to clean again for another couple of months.

One person’s mess is another person’s art At this very moment, an installation of contemporary art rests on a table in the corner of my kitchen. To the uninitiated, it may look like a conglomeration of pet water dishes, plastic swags destined for a teenager’s collection of arboreal snakes, an unopened sack of potting soil, a huge soup kettle and several ring binders.

It’s not a mess. It’s art.

Call it "Jangle of Competing Forces Acting Upon 21st-Century American Baby Boomer Mother with Full-Time Job and Certain Interpersonal Responsibilities.”

Ellen Severson, who lives in La Crosse and works in Winona, is pretty sure that on her deathbed, she won’t care that she didn’t make the bed every day.

Going Green When You Clean
by Janelle Roghair
Make your own environmentally friendly household cleaners.

It’s the time of year to gear up for spring cleaning. But before you head to the store when your conventional cleaners run out, consider making your own. It takes less effort than you think, is easy on your wallet and is safer for the environment. You’ll be amazed at what a few common ingredients you have in your kitchen can do.

Making the switch to do-it-yourself products
Melissa Hanson of La Crosse thought making her own cleaning products would be difficult, but when she started searching for ideas online, she was pleasantly surprised. "All of the recipes are very simple. It’s all things you buy at the grocery store, like vinegar and baking soda,” she says. So she bought a couple of spray bottles, mixed up some products and gave it a try. “I like the homemade cleaning products I’ve tried more than the store-bought products. I found they actually work better,” Hanson says.

If you’re not ready to make it yourself
You can go green with your cleaning products even if you’re not a “do-it-yourself” kind of person. Natural cleaning products can be purchased from Coulee Region stores like Simply Living, located on the 400 block of Main Street in downtown La Crosse. The store offers nontoxic, plant-based products ranging from laundry soap, oven cleaners and degreasers to stain and odor removers, floor cleaners, all-purpose cleaners and more. Worried about cost? They’re actually comparable to traditional store-bought products when you compare the price per use. Because they’re concentrated, you don’t use as much.

Try it yourself
Ready to give homemade cleaners a shot? Try out these recipes, offered by Hanson and the People’s Food Co-op of La Crosse. As with any cleaner, make sure you test it on an inconspicuous spot first.

All-purpose cleaner
Mix ½ cup white vinegar and ¼ cup baking soda with ½ gallon of water. It’s an excellent mixture for water deposit stains in shower stalls and on chrome fixtures.

Mix 1 part white vinegar with 1 part water in a spray bottle. Shake to mix. For tough jobs, spray the cleaner onto the surface, then sprinkle with baking soda.

Hardwood floor cleaner
Mix 1 part white vinegar with 1 part vegetable oil. Stream it onto hardwood floors and use a wet mop to mop it up.

Carpet deodorizer
Sprinkle baking soda on carpets. Let sit for several hours. Vacuum it up.

Dusting solution
Mix 2 parts vegetable oil and 1 part lemon juice. Spray on and wipe off.

Laundry detergent booster
Baking soda reduces the amount of detergent needed to do a load of wash. Add ½ cup of baking soda to your wash when you add your liquid detergent. It gives you whiter whites, brighter brights and odor-free, fresh clothing.

Fabric softener
Add ½ cup baking soda to the rinse cycle for a natural softener. Add ½ cup white distilled vinegar to the wash cycle to prevent lint from clinging to clothes.

Janelle Roghair is a writer for Gundersen Lutheran. She looks forward to trying out the do-it-yourself cleaners in her home when her conventional cleaners run out.